Athlete expelled from olympics

LundLover · 08-22-2008, 07:36 AM

Athlete Without Compelling Personal Drama Expelled from Olympics
Andy BorowitzSat Aug 16, 3:00 AM ET

Diver Hid Details of Intact Family

A member of the U.S. Olympic diving team was disqualified from competition today when it was learned that he did not have a sufficiently compelling human storyline to exploit on the NBC telecast of the worldwide sporting event.

Tracy Klujian, the expelled diver, was not raised by a single mother, never had a career-threatening injury, and did not overcome a personal tragedy of any kind before making the Olympic diving team, U.S. Olympic officials revealed today.

"Had Tracy been involved in an organ donation, as either a donor or a recipient, that would have been acceptable to us," a diving team spokesman told reporters. "However, he was not."

According to sources close to the diving team, Mr. Klujian had concealed the fact that he comes from an intact middle-class family that never lost its home to a flood, tornado or typhoon. But what may have sealed Mr. Klujian's doom, sources said, was his utter lack of a gravely ill family member to win a medal for.

"Tracy did his best to hide his background from team officials," one source said. "But when the truth came out, he was finished."

Speaking to reporters in Beijing, NBC sports chief Dick Ebersol was even less charitable, terming Mr. Klujian's actions "a reprehensible betrayal." "We do our best to check out all of the athletes to make sure that their backgrounds are full of compelling human drama, but we can't catch everything," Mr. Ebersol said. "This is a case of one really bad guy exploiting the system."

Print Story: Athlete Without Compelling Personal Drama Expelled from Olympics on Yahoo! News

****THIS IS HUMOR*****
Not a real story.....

GenericAngler · 08-22-2008, 09:27 AM

I noticed in a womans track event the other day (400 I think) that when the "usa human interest story favorite (Girl who went to high school in Des Moines)" pulled up lame in the last 20 meters or so and was out of contention....that they gave that all of the attention and sounded real disappointed and could talk of nothing more but the "horror" of her not winning the gold.

The kicker -- an underdog on her team that barely qualified for the Olympics (from East St. Louis) who must not have had a compelling back story won the gold in a stunning manner.....and they all but ignored covering it.

Anybody else see that? Boo Hoo on NBC!

08-22-2008, 07:36 AM	#1 (permalink)
LundLover Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 3,872 Thanks: 32 Thanked 17 Times in 16 Posts	Athlete expelled from olympics Athlete Without Compelling Personal Drama Expelled from Olympics Andy BorowitzSat Aug 16, 3:00 AM ET Diver Hid Details of Intact Family A member of the U.S. Olympic diving team was disqualified from competition today when it was learned that he did not have a sufficiently compelling human storyline to exploit on the NBC telecast of the worldwide sporting event. Tracy Klujian, the expelled diver, was not raised by a single mother, never had a career-threatening injury, and did not overcome a personal tragedy of any kind before making the Olympic diving team, U.S. Olympic officials revealed today. "Had Tracy been involved in an organ donation, as either a donor or a recipient, that would have been acceptable to us," a diving team spokesman told reporters. "However, he was not." According to sources close to the diving team, Mr. Klujian had concealed the fact that he comes from an intact middle-class family that never lost its home to a flood, tornado or typhoon. But what may have sealed Mr. Klujian's doom, sources said, was his utter lack of a gravely ill family member to win a medal for. "Tracy did his best to hide his background from team officials," one source said. "But when the truth came out, he was finished." Speaking to reporters in Beijing, NBC sports chief Dick Ebersol was even less charitable, terming Mr. Klujian's actions "a reprehensible betrayal." "We do our best to check out all of the athletes to make sure that their backgrounds are full of compelling human drama, but we can't catch everything," Mr. Ebersol said. "This is a case of one really bad guy exploiting the system." Print Story: Athlete Without Compelling Personal Drama Expelled from Olympics on Yahoo! News **THIS IS HUMOR*** Not a real story..... __________________ I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. - Augusten Burroughs Last edited by LundLover; 08-22-2008 at 08:21 AM.

08-22-2008, 09:27 AM	#2 (permalink)
GenericAngler Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: the Weeping Water Posts: 1,330 Thanks: 15 Thanked 9 Times in 5 Posts	I noticed in a womans track event the other day (400 I think) that when the "usa human interest story favorite (Girl who went to high school in Des Moines)" pulled up lame in the last 20 meters or so and was out of contention....that they gave that all of the attention and sounded real disappointed and could talk of nothing more but the "horror" of her not winning the gold. The kicker -- an underdog on her team that barely qualified for the Olympics (from East St. Louis) who must not have had a compelling back story won the gold in a stunning manner.....and they all but ignored covering it. Anybody else see that? Boo Hoo on NBC! __________________ And the vision was of open water. And the date was the 22nd of Feb., in the year of 2009.

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