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    No one else will probably find this as funny as me, but I've been laughing my bum off at this for about 3 days. A friend of mine sent it to me and said it was so me. It is. I went to college in Omaha. She called me once driving in Omaha, and I had to explain the whole L-center-WCR thing.

    A lot of them are hipster references. I'd say I'm a little bit of one, so it made it even funnier. I've crashed and been to shows at Hotel Frank, and know a lot of the people they mention. I'm not bragging, just trying to give some reference. I was in DC last week and refused to stop at a CVS when I needed some mole skin just because they killed the 49r. The blister was worth it. I'm even wearing a shirt that was my grandpas right now. A really weird things is that I went to elementary school with a guy in the video. When I started grad school in another state, I had someone call me out for wearing shorts and a winter coat. That's normal, right?! If you can't laugh at yourself....
    Last edited by ajb05854; 04-05-2012 at 01:24 PM.

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    Wow, AJB, that was "weird"!

    Did enjoy the closing music, however!

    Harold "out-state" F.
    "If I had a picture, I wouldn't have given you 1,000 words..." OBG

    "Perhaps a better way of measuring wealth is by
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harold View Post
    Wow, AJB, that was "weird"!

    Did enjoy the closing music, however!

    Harold "out-state" F.
    Hey, I'm from the edge of outstate! That video has made my week. It's like they geared it towards mocking me. The girl I'm dating laughed about it too. She's like, "They talk like you! You took me to that coffee shop! It's soda, not pop!" I have so many friends who want to move away from Omaha, but most don't. If they do move, they move to one of the cities mentioned.

    Last week I visited my sister in DC. She has a fancy gov'ment job. We met one of her coworkers that she's good friends with. I had a 70lb backpack full of fishing gear and minimum clothes. Rods were poking out the top and I had a camo camelback strapped to it. I was wearing a pair of nice jeans with hiking boots, a scarf I got in scotland, and a wool peacoat. My glasses were a pair from the late 70's that my dad had and I had new lenses put in. I took the peacoat off, and I was wearing a red plaid pendleton shirt from the 60's. Her coworker turned to her, and said something along the lines of, "I think I understand you a lot more now. I need to take a trip to NE. You're right." I stayed with a girl we went to highschool with who lives in Belmont, MD. Her roommate from Connecticut said pretty much the same thing to me. Nebraska is Mecca for many folks. I've taken at least a dozen folks to Omaha and Lincoln from "real cities" and they all are blown away. "I feel like I'm rich, but I'm a broke student. Omaha, Lincoln? I always thought of as backwards... No traffic, this is awesome." My friend from Boston and Portland is actually going to try to get a post doc at UNL because he likes it so much. Heck, on the way out to DC a couple weeks ago, my buddy and I had to stop at the Carnegie Mellon Natural History Museum so he could do some stuff for his dissertation. I stayed outside and people watched because it was a gorgeous day. A man in a suit who looked pretty distinguished walked by who all the workers were greeting him. He seemed really friendly. Someone asked about the weather and he said it reminded him of May at home. The reply, "Bob, I don't want to hear anything more about how great the sandhills and Nebraska are." Represent!

    I have no idea where I'll end up, but at least once every few years I'll have to roll down highway 2, get some decent fries at the bar in Long Pine (no more broken spur...makes me sad Give Elva my best wishes if you're in the area. I've still got my free beer card), get some pupusas in schulyer, the cheapest sushi in the country in omaha, mole in columbus, chicken dumpling soup at Rezac's in weston, duck at the bar in prague, hangover food at Virginia Traveler's Cafe in Lincoln, and stock up on some wimmers. My sister and her friend are having a NE party soon. We drove out some homemade runzas, dorthy lynch, jaternice, and wimmers hot dogs.

    This is getting long, but I'll finish up soon. Last summer I took a road trip with the lady friend. She's from Hong Kong, and grew up in LA. I had to visit my parents and we decided to go up to royal to go trout fishing. Things kind of snowballed on us. My parents expected me back home in Butler county at the same time I called them in Harrison. Momma was not pleased. We made a huge loop around the state and she was really impressed with it. Like, really impressed. She put the pictures up on facebook and all her friends from both coasts were wondering where this beautiful place she went was. I really miss all the good Latin food you can get in NE. One of my favorite moments was when we stopped at a good mexican place somewhere around Bridgeport. It was pretty legit, but they also had tex mex. I smiled, but I'm not mocking. I still say I-talian. Three separate people ordered the Fa-Jytas. I constantly get made fun of for miss pronouncing words. It's in my genes.

    This is the humor section, so I have to make this post legit. Sorry for the rambling, I'm getting homesick. My three favorite lame jokes:

    Why isn't your nose 12 inches long?
    Because then it would be a foot.

    What's long, brown, and sticky?
    A stick!

    What's the worst kind of cat to sit next to in school?
    A Cheetah!

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    LOVED THE STORY AND THE "TOUR"!

    Thank you!

    Now, about the jokes....

    Harold F.

    (25 County DOES have an "eclectic" population! We're all "hicks" out here. )
    "If I had a picture, I wouldn't have given you 1,000 words..." OBG

    "Perhaps a better way of measuring wealth is by
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajb05854 View Post
    No one else will probably find this as funny as me, but I've been laughing my bum off at this for about 3 days. A friend of mine sent it to me and said it was so me. It is. I went to college in Omaha. She called me once driving in Omaha, and I had to explain the whole L-center-WCR thing.

    A lot of them are hipster references. I'd say I'm a little bit of one, so it made it even funnier. I've crashed and been to shows at Hotel Frank, and know a lot of the people they mention. I'm not bragging, just trying to give some reference. I was in DC last week and refused to stop at a CVS when I needed some mole skin just because they killed the 49r. The blister was worth it. I'm even wearing a shirt that was my grandpas right now. A really weird things is that I went to elementary school with a guy in the video. When I started grad school in another state, I had someone call me out for wearing shorts and a winter coat. That's normal, right?! If you can't laugh at yourself....


    haha, that was awesome. i love the 'tim kasher punched me in the face once" line. ...and i do remember the cog factory, wow, crazy times at that place.
    "I have the impression the American sportsman is puzzled; he doesn't understand what is happening to him. Bigger and better gadgets are good for industry so why not outdoor recreation? It has not dawned on him that outdoor recreations are essentially primitive, atavistic; that their value is a contrast value; that excessive mechanization destroys contrasts by moving the factory to the woods or to the marsh." -Aldo Leopold

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    Default Glof Ball...

    Hey, watchya got there?

    An AMAZING golf ball. I'll NEVER lose another one with this ball!

    What's so special about it, looks like a regular ball to me...

    See this pink dot? It is a transmitter, when it lands it gives off a steady "beep, beep, beep"!

    WOW, that IS amazing! Where did you get it????

    I found it.
    Harold F.
    "If I had a picture, I wouldn't have given you 1,000 words..." OBG

    "Perhaps a better way of measuring wealth is by
    the number of unique experiences you have had..." Esther Dyson

    These are OUR FISHERIES! Report All Violations!
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    ^hahaha

    Gotta go look at this website. I'm sure that the guy's from the UK or something but it's hilarious!

    http://textsfromdog.tumblr.com/page/2
    "Releasing a big fish always puts a smile on my face" Jim Buckley
    The greatest catch of my life, June 1, 2013

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    The Bridge

    A man on his Harley was riding along aCalifornia beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a boomingvoice, God said, ' B ecause you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, Iwill grant you one wish.'

    The biker pulled over and said, 'Builda bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

    God replied, 'Your request ismaterialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking;the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete andsteel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify yourdesire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something thatcould possibly help man kind.'

    The biker thought about it for a longtime. Finally, he said, 'God, I w ish that I, and all men, could understandwomen; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she givesme the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing'swrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make awoman truly happy.

    God replied:
    'You want two lanes or four on thatbridge ?

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    Got this on my cell ph last nite, shows a pic of an attractive woman in a business suit and the caption read: I don't always talk to the University of Texas grads but when I do I say "Yes I'll take fries with that".

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    The man was tired of his neighbors stealing his watermelons, so he came up with this sign:

    ..........WARNING:
    One of these watermelons
    has been injected with
    a gut wrenching poison
    The next morning he was happy to find NO watermelons were "missing"! Then he noticed his sign:

    ..........WARNING:
    TWO of these watermelons
    has been injected with
    a gut wrenching poison
    Harold F.
    "If I had a picture, I wouldn't have given you 1,000 words..." OBG

    "Perhaps a better way of measuring wealth is by
    the number of unique experiences you have had..." Esther Dyson

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    At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear.
    The judge asks the baby bear; “do you want to live with papa bear?” The baby bear replied; "No he beats me. " The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear! The baby bear said, "No she beats me too." The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?" The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"

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    'ain't nobody got time for that'
    A man never stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child fish.....

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    and then the remix

    A man never stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child fish.....

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    What they dont show you, Bill Dance Bloopers!
    http://www.wimp.com/classicbloopers

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shorty View Post


    Watch out you Wanahoo fishermen! This could be you!
    "Buster here wants to fish"

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    I think it's in everybody's best interests to just stay away from Wanahoo. Don't risk it folks!
    NEFGA is endorsed by Pond Boss

    Get all your pond questions answered by the experts at Pond Boss!

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    Quote Originally Posted by PhishDr View Post
    One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

    Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing lightbulbs and how the lightbulb could have been changed differently.

    Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

    Seven more to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

    Three to correct spelling/grammar errors.

    Fore to spelle evere singel wird in the poste rong and ezpect evrywon to nowe wut thare sayin anywaye.

    Six to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb".

    Another six to condemn those six as stupid.

    Fifteen to claim experience in the lighting industry and give the correct spelling.

    Nineteen to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb (or light bulb) forum.

    Eleven to defend the posting to the group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this group.

    Thirty six to debate which method of changing lightbulbs is superior, where to buy the best lightbulbs, what brand of lightbulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.

    Seven to post URLs where one can see examples of different lightbulbs.

    Four to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL.

    Three to post URLs found when following the aforementioned URLs.

    Thirteen to quote 5-paragraph posts in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and then add "Me too", "+1 " or "".

    Five to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot mentally handle the lightbulb controversy, or because the question will just encourage a popularity contest or a "steel base vs. plastic base" discussion.

    Four to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

    Thirteen to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting easy questions about light bulbs."

    Three to tell a funny story about their cat and a light bulb.

    Nine to ramble on about how those liberal *******s want to take away all lightbulbs, and then sum it all up with a lame pun about Rosie O'Donnell choking on a 'fish taco'.

    Twenty-four to read the first half of the post, and then answer a question NOBODY ASKED!!!

    Five who get pissed over a joke that they probably didn't get in the first place.

    Fifteen to argue which is more important; wattage or bulb placement.

    Four to say that they only buy custom made lightbulbs.

    Three to say that they buy cheap bulbs that are just as good as the custom made ones, but that way they have extra money for lampshades.

    Five to ask the infamous "can a +P wattage bulb be used in my socket?" question.

    AND

    One group lurker to respond to the original post 9 months from now with something entirely unrelated, starting it all over again.

    From the WARRIORTALK Forum
    Here I go responding to the original post way more than 9 months later. Sounds like the Wanahoo discussion, don't it??
    "Buster here wants to fish"

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    For some of us, TROUTMAN, bringing back a post from 9 months ago is just like a NEW post! Just ask DrCarplove! HA HA HA HA...

    Three to say that they buy cheap bulbs that are just as good as the custom made ones, but that way they have extra money for lampshades.
    Yep, that's ME!

    "lampshades"???? Only because no one has invented "designer lightbulbs"!!! 100 W bulb covered by a shade to cut down the light, when a 40 W would do the same without the added expense of the shade! Even though I AM a professed "tightwad", unfortunately Mrs. H-F-E isn't. We have lampshades...

    We are bright ones, aren't we? Water heater set at 180* and when we take a shower, we run cold water because the water is TOO HOT!



    Harold F.
    "If I had a picture, I wouldn't have given you 1,000 words..." OBG

    "Perhaps a better way of measuring wealth is by
    the number of unique experiences you have had..." Esther Dyson

    These are OUR FISHERIES! Report All Violations!
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    MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

    *******************************
    MALE PROCEDURE:
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.


    *******************************


    FEMALE PROCEDURE:
    What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!


    1 Drive up to cash machine.
    2 Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3 Set parking brake, put the window down.
    4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5 Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
    6 Attempt to insert card into machine.
    7 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
    8 Insert card.
    9 Re-insert card the right way.
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
    11. Enter PIN.
    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
    13. Enter amount of cash required.
    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
    18. Re-check makeup.
    19. Drive forward 2 feet.
    20. Reverse back to cash machine.
    21. Retrieve card.
    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
    25. Redial person on cell phone.
    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
    27. Release Parking Brake.

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