Humor - Page 2

OldBaldGuy · 07-16-2007, 03:15 PM

You screwed up the joke, Poncho. I was at Lowe's.

Deadeye Dave · 07-20-2007, 09:35 AM

CanoeGuru · 07-20-2007, 12:53 PM

It's gonna get interesting when the deer over that guy's shoulders wakes up and starts trying to head for the woods!

Ballbeerfish · 07-20-2007, 02:31 PM

Can he see to steer the bike or did he not field dress it?

LundLover · 07-20-2007, 04:05 PM

I'd bet you a nickel that he found it dead on the side of the road.

LundLover · 07-20-2007, 09:09 PM

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first blonde.

"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde,"we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!"

LundLover · 07-20-2007, 09:14 PM

A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden.

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running for his life through the woods and hot on his heels came the game warden.

After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him.

"Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped.

With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..."

LundLover · 08-04-2007, 09:39 PM

Greyelk81 · 08-05-2007, 08:13 PM

Sighting in your expensive new deer rifle

1.Shiny new, high-powered deer rifle.............. $1200.00

2.Quality, high-powered scope........................ $ 550.00

3.Bore sighting device..................................... $ 140.00
4.Forgetting to remove the bore sighting device prior to shooting? Priceless?????

**Mako** · 08-05-2007, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LundLover

If that was a ferret instead of a cat, it would look like a certain forum member's bathroom. Although I wouldn't call him a redneck.

Dad O. · 08-06-2007, 12:11 AM

Naw Mako his private pond was straight instead of curved.

OldBaldGuy · 08-06-2007, 10:04 PM

Frosch gets on the plane, and sits down next to a guy with a dog sitting on the seat next to him. Frosch says “I didn’t think you could get a dog on the plane.” The guy says he is a federal marshal, and the dog is a “sniffer dog.” Watch this, he says. The marshal orders the dog to walk down the aisle and sniff every carry on bag. The dog points out a ladies bag and wags his tail. The marshal says she has “pot” in her bag. The dog then smells a guys bag, and raises one foot. The marshal says the guy has dope in his bag, and I will get these two people when the plane lands. He then orders the dog to go up the aisle. Suddenly, the dog returns, whines, and pees all over his seat. Frosch says what is this about? The marshal says “he just found a bomb….”

BPbowhunter · 08-06-2007, 10:44 PM

lol, nice one OBG. I guess its true what they say, you don't lose your sense of humor with your hair!

fish_finder · 08-09-2007, 12:59 PM

**Mako** · 08-09-2007, 04:31 PM

That's GREAT fishfinder!

LundLover · 08-11-2007, 10:23 AM

Dad O. · 08-11-2007, 04:31 PM

I want some of that kind of line

OldBaldGuy · 08-16-2007, 11:33 AM

(from Fly Anglers Online website)

OldBaldGuy · 08-16-2007, 11:35 AM

BoB_25 · 08-16-2007, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mako

If that was a ferret instead of a cat, it would look like a certain forum member's bathroom. Although I wouldn't call him a redneck.

Do you hang out in peoples bathrooms.......

07-16-2007, 03:15 PM	#21 (permalink)
OldBaldGuy Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: The paradise formerly known as Elkhorn Posts: 5,234 Thanks: 29 Thanked 71 Times in 41 Posts	You screwed up the joke, Poncho. I was at Lowe's. __________________ “I think every happy memory plucks a hair from your head; if you see an old bald guy, he’s probably had a great life.” –-Red Green

07-20-2007, 09:35 AM	#22 (permalink)
Deadeye Dave Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Omaha, NE Posts: 125 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	__________________ Have a shpadoinkle day!

07-20-2007, 12:53 PM	#23 (permalink)
CanoeGuru Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Lincoln Posts: 1,118 Thanks: 2 Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts	It's gonna get interesting when the deer over that guy's shoulders wakes up and starts trying to head for the woods! __________________ "Survival depends on being able to suppress anxiety and replace it with calm, clear, quick and correct reasoning..." -Sheck Exley

07-20-2007, 02:31 PM	#24 (permalink)
Ballbeerfish Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Seward Posts: 389 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Can he see to steer the bike or did he not field dress it? __________________ I started the day off with no fish. I still have plenty left.

07-20-2007, 04:05 PM	#25 (permalink)
LundLover Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 3,831 Thanks: 26 Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts	I'd bet you a nickel that he found it dead on the side of the road. __________________ A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

07-20-2007, 09:09 PM	#26 (permalink)
LundLover Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 3,831 Thanks: 26 Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts	Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second blonde,"we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!" __________________ A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

07-20-2007, 09:14 PM	#27 (permalink)
LundLover Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 3,831 Thanks: 26 Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts	A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running for his life through the woods and hot on his heels came the game warden. After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped. With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..." __________________ A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

08-04-2007, 09:39 PM	#28 (permalink)
LundLover Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 3,831 Thanks: 26 Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts	__________________ A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

08-05-2007, 08:13 PM	#29 (permalink)
Greyelk81 Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Glenwood Posts: 172 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Oops! Sighting in your expensive new deer rifle 1.Shiny new, high-powered deer rifle.............. $1200.00 2.Quality, high-powered scope........................ $ 550.00 3.Bore sighting device..................................... $ 140.00 4.Forgetting to remove the bore sighting device prior to shooting? Priceless?????

08-06-2007, 12:11 AM	#31 (permalink)
Dad O. Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Lake Havasu City, Az. Posts: 743 Thanks: 0 Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts	Naw Mako his private pond was straight instead of curved.

08-06-2007, 10:04 PM	#32 (permalink)
OldBaldGuy Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: The paradise formerly known as Elkhorn Posts: 5,234 Thanks: 29 Thanked 71 Times in 41 Posts	Frosch gets on the plane, and sits down next to a guy with a dog sitting on the seat next to him. Frosch says “I didn’t think you could get a dog on the plane.” The guy says he is a federal marshal, and the dog is a “sniffer dog.” Watch this, he says. The marshal orders the dog to walk down the aisle and sniff every carry on bag. The dog points out a ladies bag and wags his tail. The marshal says she has “pot” in her bag. The dog then smells a guys bag, and raises one foot. The marshal says the guy has dope in his bag, and I will get these two people when the plane lands. He then orders the dog to go up the aisle. Suddenly, the dog returns, whines, and pees all over his seat. Frosch says what is this about? The marshal says “he just found a bomb….” __________________ “I think every happy memory plucks a hair from your head; if you see an old bald guy, he’s probably had a great life.” –-Red Green Last edited by OldBaldGuy; 08-07-2007 at 10:03 AM.

08-06-2007, 10:44 PM	#33 (permalink)
BPbowhunter 2007 NEFGA Outdoorsman Of The Year Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Broken Bow Posts: 2,304 Thanks: 5 Thanked 8 Times in 7 Posts	lol, nice one OBG. I guess its true what they say, you don't lose your sense of humor with your hair! __________________ Whackin' Woodies Waterfowl Crew "Look, a pair of singles!"

08-09-2007, 12:59 PM	#34 (permalink)
fish_finder Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Lincoln Posts: 616 Thanks: 8 Thanked 8 Times in 6 Posts

08-09-2007, 04:31 PM	#35 (permalink)
Mako Director Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: A bit further south... Posts: 4,301 Thanks: 2 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts	That's GREAT fishfinder! __________________ "Even a fish wouldn't get into trouble if he kept his mouth shut."

08-11-2007, 10:23 AM	#36 (permalink)
LundLover Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 3,831 Thanks: 26 Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts	__________________ A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

LinkBacks (?) LinkBack to this Thread: http://www.nefga.org/forum/everything-else/4316-humor.html
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08-11-2007, 04:31 PM	#37 (permalink)
Dad O. Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Lake Havasu City, Az. Posts: 743 Thanks: 0 Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts	I want some of that kind of line

08-16-2007, 11:33 AM	#38 (permalink)
OldBaldGuy Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: The paradise formerly known as Elkhorn Posts: 5,234 Thanks: 29 Thanked 71 Times in 41 Posts	(from Fly Anglers Online website) __________________ “I think every happy memory plucks a hair from your head; if you see an old bald guy, he’s probably had a great life.” –-Red Green

08-16-2007, 11:35 AM	#39 (permalink)
OldBaldGuy Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: The paradise formerly known as Elkhorn Posts: 5,234 Thanks: 29 Thanked 71 Times in 41 Posts	One for Willie __________________ “I think every happy memory plucks a hair from your head; if you see an old bald guy, he’s probably had a great life.” –-Red Green

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